[x]

Does that make me Different?I wear make up. Does that make me fake?
I cry. Does that make me emo?
I have male friends. Does that make me slutty?
I smile a lot. Does that make me weird?
I laugh loud. Does that make me preppy?
I have anxiety. Does that make me a freak?
I have Bipolar Disorder. Does that make me abnormal?
I respect people. I change for me, and only me. I have a past, but I know I have a future.
Does that make me different?
Maybe.
But at least it makes me
Me.

FrostbiteNumbness
I can’t feel my toes and at first I think
It’s just my toes.
I can cover them up.
I can warm them.

It spreads, like fire,
Like ice.
I glance away for a second, it seems, and my feet are cold
Pat –pat
That’s funny, I didn’t feel that
Maybe I’ll cover them up too
I’ll warm them up.

I’ll take a nap
Maybe a short rest will make it all better, warm them
Up…
What’s that? How long has it been?
My legs… are you still mine..
Why has my breath left me, short?
Has everything but deserted me?

What about you, are you still here?
Are you still with me?
Hello?
And before I can say goodbye, I think my thoughts are leaving me too –

You'll Never Understand...You'll never understand...
But I'm glad you don't.
Because that would mean
You'd have to go through my pain.
And I'd never wish that
For you.

Sleeping Beautyshe’s in love with a character who
never existed but in the labyrinth of her head:
a patchwork composition of beautiful, lengthy words
she’d heard in her catatonic state; coma living
day in and day out, reliant on the salvation
of a man made of foreign wishing
and imperfection and necessity – an ignorance
of the less than ideal perception of self she’d
come to fear, absention stained romantic to the point
where daydreams were a standard for survival

(real living is for the purposeful of heart,
he loves her in her sleep)

UneditedWe cry.
We scream.
We fight for our dream.

We scream.
We cry.
We're just waiting to die.

The same emotions
with a different drive.
Sometimes dead, sometimes alive.

The same in one way,
different in another
brother and sister, sister and brother.

So close in feeling,
so different in the end.
Falling apart, or finally on the mend?

Which am I?
Will I ever know?
Fighting to stay or ready to go?

Maybe I'm both,
in some impossible way.
Emotions oddly mixed everyday.

Wouldn't surprise.
I'm such a freak.
Excuse me, I laugh, I should call it "unique"

Happily AloneHonesty,
She does not have,
Personalities,
She has many of them.

A million shields,
a million personalities,
She's always changing,
to fit every person around her.

If one were to ask why,
she would answer with,
I will never reveal my weaknesses,
because she's evil.

She hates everyone,
stupider than her is barely tolerable,
smarter than her is too scary,
She hates it all.

She leaves the world behind,
To one she has dreamt of,
No color,
nobody else.

Then,
she will smile,
why,
because she is truly happy alone.

She is not evil,
She does not hate you,
She is not dishonest,
She simply wants to be alone.

lifelinesI fear the sound of sparrows
and the density of leaves
against dew-muffled blades
of grass,

and I'm drowning
in the sky.

My skin has learned how
to peel itself off
without causing a commotion
in my marrows or
even show the slightest hint
of pain,
and my heart has learned how
to hush the stars in their wake
and keep it all a secret.

There's a sea in my mouth
and I can't swim.

There are lifelines
cast like these and it will
all end with the same tragedy.

We are the King and Queen of Broken DreamsStanding still in a mine field, staring at all we have left.
We were so young, we didn’t stop to think.
Now we’re in a car crash, teetering on the brink.
If you were to leave me now, I don’t know what I’d do.

It was a whirl wind romance,
A light when all was black, a spark of something when all was bleak.
You swept me off my feet and made me feel brand new.
I thought we could live forever and I’m certain you did to.

We built a house without foundations
And now we’re falling down,
Everything’s crumbling around us, time slipping through out fingertips.
People used to walk past us but they were to drunk to see,
That our lives are coming apart around us, there is no light as far as we can see.

There was no fire to start with,
Just two broken things, the world had left behind.
The casualties of other people’s dreams of power, money and control,
Spat out onto the curb to rot away and die.
We never stood a chance or so

of seafoam thronesFrom Atlas’ hands she wept to me,
atop Africas and South Atlantics;

this is one situation unaffected by
ember eyes and windy lashes
(it has no anatomy).

You are sparrows stranded
in tiny crevices and cliffside love,
though you rebuke flight
in the fear of chipping feathers.

So what do you do?

You reach for my soul,
coveting flight with shaking
dainty arms…

and perhaps I’ll let you:
With flytrap lips and
glass shaped hips…
you are unfit for anything but
sight.

(But beauty isn’t everything)

Falling off the EdgeDo you know what it feels like?
To nearly fall off the edge,
but not quite...
just so that you're dangling;
clinging for your worthless life
lest it fall into the sea of loneliness.
Your callused, pink fingers turning
to a shade of purplish-red of pain
as it does it best to hold on.

Splash.

In the sea of loneliness,
everything is crisp, translucent.
There is nothing around you,
you are alone...
unlike other people,
you have no one
clamouring to save you;
you have no one
diving in to get you out.

There is no point
screaming for help,
you will only waste
the little time and air you have left.
You only have the darkness
of the sea envelop

Ashes on the SandWe put you in
a crystal box
small enough for me
to hold in my
hands
(and that thought gives me
chill bumps)
The tide was high
where we took you
and I remember thinking
how pointless it was
(you were just going to wash
up on the shore)
Everyone was quiet
and some people cried
and as you were tossed
out to sea like so
many grains of sand
I thought how much
I missed you
(Now I think how much
I hate you
for leaving)

A Charmed LifeDoll-faced men and sinkholes, ancient tombstones
Leaves piled ankle-deep, falling down
Old wells, old graves, old friends lost
Pirate adventures in Neverland
Don't go into that barn

Ponchoboy and Rangergirl rise from the ashes
From the cold river, from afar
Remember before they were born, how they
Held hands and jumped into the world
Don't go into that school

Ladybugs, pennies, notes from the dead sun eclipse
Scrape the inside of your skull for clues
All the old dreams are still there, petrified
You are a rock of ages gibbering
Don't go into that factory

PerfectEver had the feeling where you can't stop looking at a picture?
Your gorgeous face makes me smile
Go weak at the knees
Makes me giggle like a little girl

Those morning texts
All day conversations
Random silly things like that
Make me smile

I see the led light flash the colours I've set for when I get a message from you
My heart flutters
My cheeks flush
I go deaf to the world when I'm reading a message from you

If your down
I'm always there for you
I know you don't want to worry me
I know you want me to smile
But I'm always here for you
No matter how you feel
I'd prefer to help
Than for you to be down

Your gorgeous eyes
Are mesmerising
You

weight of the worldand suddenly--
it was like the world decided that
it didn't want to carry its burden any longer,
so it shifted the weight
into the hollows of my bones
and told me that
it was my problem now.

UntitledThere is a loneliness that can
come to subsistence in man
deeper than the great
submarine sinkhole of Belize;

a crawling phthalo blue sadness
stolen off of a Picasso palette
of familiar numbing pains.

I recall having heard them
as they bid adieu- to me,
another newly extinct species;

some of us are meant for doom
like stellar sea cows, with only
our skeletal frames remaining.

Our squeaks muted all too soon
in the darkness of the shade.

So it goes: life can drag
a few of us blow by blow,
skewing our limbs and broiling
our skins by very heavy venom.

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More from ~Ulrika--Stern

The DoorI've opened the door for you.
It's up to you to walk in.
I'll wait for you,
even if you wouldn't come.
No matter how long it takes,
I'll wait to the very end.

If you walk away,
I'll grab your hand.
I'll never let you go away,
I need you by my side.
You can hate it, you can like it,
but I'll never let you go.

If you let me, I'll walk to you.
I want to sit next to you,
tell you how important you are.
I live only for you.
Nothing's gonna change it.

I keep walking forward,
I want to see your smile.
I'm wishing that you still miss me.
Because I'll never stop walking.

Step by step my journey gets shorter.
There's so much we've

If you...If you yell to me,
If you lie to me,
If you hate me,
If you cheat on me,
If you break up with me,
I don't care.

If you hurt me,
If you slap me,
If you torture me,
If you kill me,
I don't care.

But...

If you live only because of me,
If you hug me,
If you kiss me,
If you mean what you say,
If you say "I love you"...
...I do care.

UselessUseless...
that's what I've became.
Can't you see?
I'm fading away...
nobody will remember me,
I'll be gone...

This world is huge,
I'm small and fragile.
They all hate me.
They're all against me.
Even if I want to help them.

Seeing others sad,
I don't know what to say.
How I should comfort them.
What I should say to them.
Listening is easy,
talking is different.

Do you even understand?
Have you felt like this?
Wanting to leave,
in that very moment.
Admitting the fact.
I've failed to help.
What's gonna happen next?

A GameWe were sitting,
with our friends.
You had an idea,
"Let's play a game!"
I hesitated, you saw it,
You told the rules.
It was easy, but complicated.
You knew I'd agreed.

It was late,
our friends left.
We played, we played,
we didn't want to stop.
We played minutes, hours,
days, months...
Step by step,
the game was reaching to end.
We played the game.
We didn't want to stop...

The game became boring,
we were both sighing.
You said you quit,
It made me shock.
"You can't do that!"
I said back.
"That is allowed, so yes I can."
You walked away, I never saw you again.

I didn't believe you.
How wrong I was.
You followed th

Sinun SylissasiHukun murheisiin,
loputtomiin kyyneliin.
Mitä muutakaan voisin tehdä?
Oma tahtoni on murtunut,
tunteeni ovat palaneet tuhkaksi,
mieleni on vajonnut syvälle meren pohjaan,
sieluni on uupunut,
sydämeni kuormittuu..
silti olen yhä täällä..
odotan hiljaisuudessa..
ja itken...

Joka yö näen sinut unissani,
siellä missä rajoja ei ole.
Siellä pystyn koskettamaan sinua,
halaamaan sinua,
suutelemaan sinua,
välimatkaa ei ole,
siellä voin olla onnellinen.

Mutta elämä ei ole vain unta...
tämän unen pitää herätä henkiin,
j

MuistaMilloin?
Missä?
Miksi?
En tiedä.
En muista.

Mitä tapahtui?
Missä se tapahtui?
Miksi se tapahtui?
Oliko se tarkoitettu loppua näin?
Vai oliko se todella loppu?
En tiedä...

Mieleni on tunnoton,
En pysty ajattelemaan kunnolla.
Olenko transsissa?
Haluan tietää.
Tiedätkö sinä mitä tapahtui?

Mitä oli mielessäsi?
Yrititkö auttaa minua?
En muista.
Haluan itkeä...
Hetkinen...

Minä itkin,
maaten avuttomasti maassa.
Olin haavoittunut,
sinä haavoitit minua.
Luotiin sinuun koko elämälläni,
uskoin kaiken mitä sanoit.
Sin&

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Ruined Childhood

by ~Ulrika--Stern, Jul 28, 2011, 9:12:07 AM
Literature / Poetry / Emotional / Free Verse

My life is destroyed,
all unnecessary pain.
All because of him,
he enjoyed it.
He turned my life like hell.
He... was my brother.

Did he want me to suffer?
Or didn't he see it?
Didn't he see my pain?
Or didn't he care?

He wasn't the only one.
There were others.
No one ever knew.
I never told anyone.
My school...

Hidden bullying,
unseen pain,
from day to another.
Over 12 years,
I tried to hold on...
All that time,
it rained every night...

I didn't look different,
I was like everyone.
But I was imperfect enough,
to lose my life.
Because of my childhood...
it still rains every night...

Ruined Childhoodby ~Ulrika--Stern

Literature / Poetry / Emotional / Free Verse

This poem is based on my childhood.. everything written there is true..

Art (c) Me

~Reikomi-chan Jul 29, 2011 Hobbyist General Artist

Perrrrkele... Nyt tuli murhia useempiki kun yksi!

~Ulrika--Stern Jul 29, 2011

Eläs ny...ei sillä enää oo väliä....tapahtunu on tapahtunu...

!CR-501 Jul 28, 2011 Student General Artist

If you want to be better in your head, stop writing sad things! Try to forgot!

I have never enjoy my childhood, but, I have forget the past, all these fails, all these stupid people who has made fun of me and you know what?!

God damn it i'm happy now, I have friends who understand me! I have stop crying!

Please... I don't like to see you like that...
BE HAPPY!

~Ulrika--Stern Jul 28, 2011

I understand what you're saying~

but how am I able to forget 12 years just like that..??

!CR-501 Jul 28, 2011 Student General Artist

In two words, perhaps... "have fun"?
Don't rest in your room to try to cry... Go outside, with friends! I know it's not easy. You know, me, in three years I have try to forget, but the sadness of the poetry CAN'T care a sad childhood!!

I'm with you!

Please don't be more sad about that, if you are, just think: You have very geat friends, the past is the past, 12 years is very big, but it's just a period! I'm sure there is a lot of adult people who being bullyed during their school time... BUT HEY, that don't ruin a complete life!

Trust me! :3

Hidden by Owner

~NaruSasuKawaii Jul 28, 2011 Hobbyist Digital Artist

My friends live too far away, so I don't have nothing else to do than be in my room alone and be with you guys....

Thanks~ I'm really glad to hear that you're worrying about me

!CR-501 Jul 28, 2011 Student General Artist

I don't want you to be like me, almot some years ):

That was very painful for me, so I have be a LOT alone, hum actually i'm still a little but i'm more happy. Laugh is necessary for the happiness!

I will be always here to support you!

~Ulrika--Stern Jul 28, 2011

Aww..

Well, it's kinda like that when I'm with other people or my friends etc, I am very happy ^^ It's always just those times when I'm alone.. I'm not even used to cry around my friends, so I don't even know how does it feel when there's someone to comfort you, I've always cried alone..

Thanks dear~

!CR-501 Jul 28, 2011 Student General Artist

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